How to handle it — in the heat of the moment
Whether the pattern's yours or someone else's, what to do right now.
The rage is surging and you can feel a relationship about to take damage.
— Right now
- Name it and step out: 'I need twenty minutes.' Leaving beats erupting.
- Big emotions pass if you don't act on them. Ride it out away from people.
- Long exhales, walk it off, come back when you're not on fire.
— Don't
- Don't reason or argue mid-eruption — no one can, including you.
— Later
- If your anger keeps costing you people, therapies like DBT genuinely help.
The rage is surging and you can feel a relationship about to take damage.
— Right now
- Name it and step out: 'I need twenty minutes.' Leaving beats erupting.
- Big emotions pass if you don't act on them. Ride it out away from people.
- Long exhales, walk it off, come back when you're not on fire.
— Don't
- Don't reason or argue mid-eruption — no one can, including you.
— Later
- If your anger keeps costing you people, therapies like DBT genuinely help.
In the heat: the short version
- 1.Hot? Name a time-out and leave. Don't erupt.
- 2.Difficult person? Stay calm and brief, don't take the bait.
- 3.Hold your boundary; you only control your side.
- 4.Frightened or controlled? 1800RESPECT 1800 737 732.
- 5.Owning your part is the strong move.
Doing it tough?Call Lifeline 13 11 14