How to handle it — when a mate's not travelling well
What to do when you've noticed something's off with him.
A mate's gone quiet, flat or short, and your gut says something's wrong.
— Right now
- Ask, simply and directly: 'You don't seem yourself lately — you alright?'
- Ask twice. The first answer's usually 'yeah good'. The second time he might open up.
- Pick a low-key spot — the ute, a walk, the shed. Blokes talk easier side by side.
— Don't
- Don't try to fix him or solve it. You're not the counsellor.
— Later
- Check back in a few days. Following up says 'I meant it'.
A mate's gone quiet, flat or short, and your gut says something's wrong.
— Right now
- Ask, simply and directly: 'You don't seem yourself lately — you alright?'
- Ask twice. The first answer's usually 'yeah good'. The second time he might open up.
- Pick a low-key spot — the ute, a walk, the shed. Blokes talk easier side by side.
— Don't
- Don't try to fix him or solve it. You're not the counsellor.
— Later
- Check back in a few days. Following up says 'I meant it'.
Helping a mate: the short version
- 1.Ask directly — and ask twice.
- 2.Listen, don't fix. 'That sounds hard' is plenty.
- 3.Nudge him to his GP / MensLine, help him take the step.
- 4.Won't talk? Leave the door open, keep showing up.
- 5.Scared he's not safe? Ask straight; if urgent, 000.
Doing it tough?Call Lifeline 13 11 14